My First Three Creative Writing Pieces

These are my first pieces for my Creative Writing class. I presented the first two on Wednesday and both seemed to be well received  The third I will be presenting on monday because I wrote it yesterday afternoon. The first is a short piece I wrote while I was travelling in Italy with my mother and my brother, before moving in to my apartment. I wrote it after I watched the people in the city of Perugia react to the first rain they had had in months.

Perugia, August 26th, 2012

And then the rain came. Like a million little arrows, each drop hurtled through the air towards the earth, driving all of the people into the nearest small shop or bit of shelter they could find. There the people waited, uncertain of what to do as the rain came down faster and heavier. It had not rained in months and it was if the people had become afraid of the grey clouds rolling across their previously pristine blue sky. The people quickly abandoned the open streets, and as they frightfully at each other, the clouds connected and the thunder shook the surrounding buildings. Bolts of white lightning streaked across the sky and the families held their children closer and hushed their muffled cries. The rain, which brought life and relief in it’s pockets, had frozen the people. They had become accustomed to the heat and the sticky humid air, which filled their lungs from sunup to sundown. With open arms, only one welcomed the heavy unrelenting rain. The sheltered men, women, and children watched inquisitively, longingly, as one young boy, walked into their view. As his eyes met theirs, he answered their unspoken questions with a smile. He turned up the deserted streets, his clothes wet and heavy, and with his two bare feet, he splashed playfully through the nearest puddle.

Florence, September 12th, 2012

Initial Thoughts

Standing naked in my room

Today is a silk boxer kind of day.

Sliding open the drawer

“Naughty”, “Big Dipper”, “Shamrocks”, No.

Today is a silk boxer kind of day.

There is a sizable rip at the bottom of the crotch

The faces of the two previous owners run through my mind.

I have never been so far, yet so close, to my two best friends.

Today is a silk boxer kind of day.

Florence, September 13th, 2012

Florence, September 13th, 2012

I have grown up with the wind.

A very dear friend

shaping and molding me

as it would the dunes on the beaches

that I call home,

Whipping and tearing at my face,

when Mother Nature unleashes her wrath

on my sandy shores.

Sweeping pine needles from our paths,

as we walk home together.


Or rushing past us

like a game of tag.

You’re it.

I will never catch this tangible phenomenon

Yet I will

be able to gift it to my children.

The sounds carried by its rolling waves

have been locked inside my head.

And when I lie down

in the darkness.

I am comforted

by its lyricless song.

Feedback is much appreciated seeing as these are all works in progress…. That means you mom!

❤ Ciao!


About thehpubandana

I am currently a Junior in college at High Point University in High Point, North Carolina. However, this year I am studying abroad in Florence, Italy with the SACI school. I am a studio art major, with a passion for photography, skateboarding, and yelling Title Fight with my friends. CHUH!!
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One Response to My First Three Creative Writing Pieces

  1. I love the prose piece from Perugia (watch some of the typos – I think you meant “boy” and not “body,” right? I love the silk boxer poem – it’s perfect as is. I love the wind poem as well but here are a few minor suggestions: 1. get rid of “Untitled” – either call it “Florence, September, 2012” (plenty of poets do that) or maybe “Across the Ocean” or “The Wind Across the Sea” or something. 2. watch your punctuation – I know that sounds annoying but watch whether the end of your lines need commas or periods. It helps the reader to know when to pause for a period or whether to pause for a comma – it makes a difference. 3. I’d take the hyphen away from “lyricless” or maybe take lyric less out completely. Can’t you just be comforted by its song? It’s the wind so we already know it’s lyric less. Your call though as it’s your poem. 4. It’s “When I lie down” and not “lay.” Here’s what I love: personifying the wind as a friend; great details like walking barefoot, pine needles, and the game of tag. Perhaps you should say “I will never catch” rather than “I can never catch”…your call. Well done, bub.

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